Patricia M Favaron

 

 Fishermen in their boats watching the sun setting.  Soon they will be sleeping, resting their bodies after a long day at sea.

 Idaho lake here I come!  What a treat!  Immersing in the still clean waters of this remote north Idaho lake.

 Wasp having lunch at the Everglades.  It is so peaceful there.  I took some fantastic pictures of nature at its best.

 A very elegant bee's restaurant, I must say!

Our Business is to mind the law of cause and effect

Who am I?

Growing up in a small town at the hands of a mother that never paid me a compliment and a mostly absent father was not a good beginning.  By the age of seven, I became an extremely shy, insecure, unhappy child due probably to a lack of self-esteem.
    At fifteen, I realized there was no place in the world for me.  Somehow, I was inferior to other girls and couldn’t bear that idea so I decided to end it all before my twentieth birthday.  It was the only way out because I felt incapable of going into the world and getting a life.  Too shy and depressed, life didn’t make sense carrying with me at all times these feelings of overwhelming isolation.  Running away from home without destination, ready for the worst came next.  I took a train to the coast in bitter winter holding onto a bottle full of pills destined to end my suffering.  After an adventurous, insightful week in which I realized I did not have the courage to kill myself, I made my way back home determined to change this being that I loathed into a strong, worthy, successful individual.
    The struggle between the real self and the ideal person I wanted to become went on for years.  Putting others down to feel better was a strong medication; I did so many things, each time with the hope to find happiness and fulfillment.  I took guitar lessons, went to Europe, worked with an elephant in a circus, dated one hundred men, joined Mensa, etc, etc.  Finally, at thirty-five I started realizing I had it all wrong and no matter what I did, the horrible void in my heart remained unchanged.  Why was that?
    My next step was to read self-help books, philosophers and spiritual material.  Paying attention to nature and observing people that looked happy,  taking notes and meditating consumed my time.  To my surprise, I discovered I was not a nice person.  All I cared for was manipulating situations to my advantage.
    Real healing is coming from realizing I am not better or worse than others and what is good for me has to be good for everyone.  At last, I am feeling comfortable in my skin and hope to get to this place that in the past seemed unreachable.